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How can you look forward to something, yet dread it at the same time!?

The problem with Thanksgiving

The break was much needed and much deserved. The drive home wasnt desirable but also wasnt bad. The weather could be nicer, but Mother Nature is very picky. The food was in excess and the bellies were very happy. Nobody can complain about Thanksgiving.

Unless you are me. Yes, I know, Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday where people come together and celebrate the things most dear (family). Well, let's think back shall we...my family isnt normal. On a typical week we separate on Sundays just so we will be able to be together for the rest of the week. This may sound weird to most people, but once you know us you completely understand. My entire family is strong. By that I mean we all have our own identities and our own very intense personalities. This means that opinions and ideas may not mesh and neither side will back down.

Now that I have painted a beautiful picture for everyone, let me describe my holiday. We were invited to my aunt's house(on my mom's side) but you see this aunt had a falling out with my grandmother (safe to say we didnt go there). We ended up at my uncle's house (Dad's brother), this caused more issues. You see this is the side of my family that we never talk to. Why you may ask!? good question. Let me try and explain this. My dad's mother stopped talking to us 14yrs ago. Yeah I know. She refuses to be around us or anyone that associates with us. I've never really been clear on the reason, but let's just say I stopped caring. So my dad's brother started talking to us again when I was 18 (meaning he hadnt for 12yrs). The only reason he came around is because he was about to have a kid (doesnt seem fair huh?).

Okay, now that that's somewhat clear. When we arrived to our "family" gathering, we were told that one of my dad's uncles was going to be joining us. This was a good surprise. For like I said we never see anyone on that side. The drama then started. What drama!? well my dad's mother was staying with this particular uncle. So he had to tell her he was going out with a girlfriend of his (so she wouldnt join him). My uncle had to tell her that they werent going to be home (so she wouldnt stop by). At the end of the night, each one of them made up a story (so she wouldnt find out).

Maybe it's hard to comprehend but since this has been going on my whole life, I've become very sensitive to it. The first few times someone: didnt invite us, made other arrangements, or did something to hide the fact we were there, didnt bother me. Now it does. I know that seems backwards, but here is a great example: my great-grandfather's birthday party. They had a huge party for him with the whole family, but told us it was on a different day so that we wouldnt be there. Yeah, safe to say this really gets to me.

My holiday was less than par mainly because during a time for family, mine was lying about being with me.

My Superstition

Horoscopes. Those pesky little "fortune tellers" that most of us read on a daily basis. Why do we do that? Is it to find some meaningful statement about the lives we dont understand? I'm really not so sure. I confess that I spend 5 minutes of my morning reading a horoscope. I never know what I'm going to find. I guess most days I just want it to tell me what I want to hear, like how life will be wonderful or my day will run smoothly. I realize that horoscopes can't determine how my life/day goes, but it makes me feel better to see that the cosmic universe as told to an unknown person isn't against me. However, with my daily intake of superstition there is a love horoscope. You know those Leo in the fourth moon crap that nobody really understands. Well, mine always says the same thing: Love is around the corner. Luckily whoever writes it puts it in a different format each day to hide the fact that it's the same, but come on I am in college. Now I realize that that is the safe way to ensure it is somewhat right. But, how can love be around the corner everday!? I mean eventually we would all be running in circles to find the one thing we all are really looking for. Now who looks stupid. I feel as though I will never understand why anyone reads horoscopes, including myself. I used to think it was because mine always seemed to be right, but "even a broken clock is right twice a day". I will probably continue to pollute my mind with silly anecdotes about a life I am not ready to fully appreciate. All the mysteries, secrets crevices, and exciting adventures that are still to come. One day I may be able to look at a horoscope and not have the expectation of a "fortune" being told. One day.

This will be...

Let's start off with the fact that Calculus 3 is NOT easier than Calculus 2. Whoever told me that was so wrong on so many levels. I am currently not understanding anything going on, I believe being dropped in Spain with only a map would be better than this class.

There is this guy...I know I know....but see the thing about him is I didn't give him a chance last year...and now I wish I had. My loss I guess.

"This was not the way I planned..."

It's a Katy Perry morning, in reference to the title.

SO I am all registered for my final semester in college...unusually sad day!

Other breaking news on my side: Mike has been shipped off.
He has been waiting for this for quite some time, but now that he is actually gone it's unreal. There was something keeping him here and I'm worried about him. Yesterday he was in Germany awaiting the plane that would take him to his final destination (hope not). As of this morning he was in Kuwait. He will always be in my thoughts. One of my best friends. :(

That is all. Just a sad week all around. X-mas music starting tomorrow (today is day of the dead, so I feel it's inappropriate to start today).