Three exams between me and the end of the year.

Four days between me and going home.

Ten days between me and graduation.

Where did this year go?

Why did it go so quickly?

Today was my last Monday of my undergraduate career. Im really not sure how to handle the nerves. I couldnt finish my lunch due to the overwhelming thought. I just want to make it out of here and not notice I did it.

Tonight was my last Alpha Chi Sigma meeting EVER! That was really scary. I went to McDonalds to celebrate.

Im just scared.

Im on the tightrope of reality and the safety net has vanished and if I slip once Im done. (dont you love the analogy)

The truth is...

My final Spring Weekend has officially ended. Im not sure how to feel about it, except that it's a little unnerving. I now only have two weeks until the last day and Im not ready for the future. Not ready at all. I dont look forward to packing up my stuff and leaving forever, or going home knowing I will soon be leaving it for good. The truth is that when May 8th comes around I will be a true adult and will soon be on my very own.

Everyone dreams of this as a child, the whole "I cant wait to be on my own" speech we all know so well. What we dont realize when we are young is all that that statement implies. Financially Im not ready, mentally Im not ready, physically Im not ready. Some people may say it will all work out in time and that I should just let it ride out, but Im a planner by nature and not being able to plan for now is painful. Ive had my life planned out for as long as I can remember, yeah sure some things have changed along the way (i.e. I didnt go to Roanoke College) but the ultimate goal has always been the same. I would graduate high school and go to college for chemistry, then I would get my graduate degree in Forensics, from there I will work in a lab somewhere and be perfectly happy. Well, the first two are done and the third is about to begin and Im not sure about the "getting a job somewhere" part. I could find myself living in California and so far from my family. That is where it gets scary. Im also scared about attending George Washington. It's in DC, and Ive never lived in a BIG city. I was born in Portsmouth moved to Salem and went to school in Farmville. Let's face it I love the mom-and-pop towns where everyone knows you. DC is not one of those places.

Oh well I guess. Live does take you through unexpected places. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the crazy ride.